A War That Isn't Ours
by Shimmering tear
Summary: [ONE SHOT] Kaoru's emotions when Kenshin leaves to join the war in Iraq as well as clips from her personal diary while he was away.


**D/C: I simply don't own RK! sob**

**A/N: Hi there every one! I just watched a movie about war and let's just say I got touched. So, I decided to write a story about war and what better war than the war in Iraq. I hope you enjoy this... **

**A War That Isn't Ours**

"But Kenshin," Kaoru protested, her voice shaking with tears, "you can't just go"

"I have to Kaoru," he argued, not even stopping packing his bag to answer her properly, "the orders are clear, I must go"

She took his handbag and threw it onto the floor.

"No" she yelled, heavy tears dropping from her eyes and directly onto her chest.

He bent down silently and repacked the few materials that spilled onto the floor.

She watched angrily then started stomping them and kicking them away from his reach. He looked up at her.

"No, no, NO," she screamed, "please don't go"

He hugged her waist from his position on the floor.

"I must" he said quietly.

He buried his face in her abdomen to hide it; he didn't want her to see that he was crying too. He could feel the contraction due to her severe sobbing; it was like a heart beat.

"Please" she begged for the hundredth time.

He looked up at her. Two tears from her eyes dropped onto his cheeks simultaneously and ran down them, as if they were his own.

"What about me?" she asked weakly; exhausted from crying so hard, "What about Kenji?"

He slowly got up straight in front of her, tracing the sides of her slim body as he rose. Finally, he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her gently in the lips.

"You're my wife and he's my son," he answered softly, "you're my life and the world to me. That is why I have to go to Iraq and help make this world a better place for the two of you"

Kaoru shed fresh tears and he wiped them gently with his thumb.

"But this isn't our war," she argues urgently," we're a thousand miles away from there, we're as safe as can be here. They don't bother us in any way. We're happy the way we are why can't we just stay this way?"

Kenshin sighed.

"I have to go" he said firmly then quickly packed his few military clothes and walked out. She watched his back helplessly till he left out of the door. The instant she heard the lock click announcing his departure she collapsed wailing on the floor.

**_The fifth of January, 2005_**

_Dear Diary..._

_I can't believe I found you! I hadn't written in you since...Kenshin and I got married..._

_Wow! It feels weird to write again. I won't write much in you like before, but I'll try to update you often, starting from now; too much had happened since I last saw you and I really don't feel like catching up._

_It's been more than a year already...I can hardly believe that I hadn't seen my pretty red head since then, I feel like dying. It aches me that Kenji is growing without a Dad like the kids of all those convicts and criminals. Kenshin had already missed seeing him graduate from high school. Kenji was so cute in that graduation outfit and it's totally unfair that Kenshin had to miss it. Megumi and Misao are depressed as well; they miss their husbands too. Sanosuke and Aoshi are there with my beloved Kenshin. I feel lucky that at least I have a son to keep me sane, unlike my friends. But then again I feel that the three of us are more fortunate than many other soldiers' wives. Tokio went crazy when she knew that Saito was killed in action and Yumi committed suicide when Shishio's troop was trapped and burned alive. I cry in bed every night, I pray my tongue dry every night for Kenshin. I miss him so much...I want him to return to me, but he's busy fighting a war that isn't ours..._

_**The second of February, 2005**_

_Dear Diary..._

_Sano just came back yesterday...without an arm...I went with Megumi to welcome him at the airport. He didn't tell Megumi before; he didn't want her to worry. He wore an over sized jacket and we didn't notice anything until Megumi hugged him. First, she felt there was something weird under his jacket. She laughed and giggled; she thought he had brought her a present. He smiled awkwardly. She asked him to open his jacket and he refused. She laughed harder, she thought he was fooling with her and then she opened his jacket and saw. It was such a horrible shock. She gasped hard and took a few steps back before she collapsed on the floor crying. We and Sano stood watching helplessly. _

_Now only Kenshin and Aoshi are left in Iraq. They should've been back home months ago but they keep on asking for extensions. They believe in their duty above everything. They're fighting a war that isn't ours..._

**_The fourth of March, 2005_**

_Dear Diary..._

_Aoshi is back home. He was sent back here because he got seriously injured in the course of action. He got severely shot in his legs. He still can't walk, but the doctors say that his legs' muscles are strong and he'll get better soon. Misao is holding on for him. She's wonderful. She inspires Megumi and me a great deal. Kenji is asking a lot for his Dad: 'When is he coming back?' I don't know what to tell him, so I just say soon .However, Kenji is really smart, God bless him. He's not dumb, he sees right through my lies but won't do anything about it. He just acts like he believes me to make me feel better; he's such a baby gentleman. He's so much like his own man in many different ways. I write to Kenshin every day begging him to return to us, but he hardly ever writes back and when he does he says he won't; he can't. He still wants to fit a war that isn't ours..._

**The tenth of October, 2017**

Kenji stared at the open old diary in front of him. He could easily recognize his beloved Mother's handwriting. He was surprised to see that she had a diary as he had never seen her write in one. He found it in her closet, hidden in a dark corner and covered with dust. It was obvious that it had been neglected for a long time. He examined it carefully. She wrote in it all through her high school and college, an entry per month before she stopped. Then many years after, she seemed to have written a few entries again. The last one was titled 'The fourth of March, 2005'. He sighed; he knew how painful this day was for her. It was the day she received a letter announcing her widow and him orphan. Seeing that she had written nothing about it in this entry he realized that she hadn't yet received that letter at the time. Then, seeing she had written nothing after that entry he could almost feel her pain all over again.

"A war that isn't ours" he repeated his Mother's most frequent phrase.

He hugged the diary tightly and sighed. He turned to Sano and showed him the diary.

"This item would _definitely_ have to be shown at her wake" Kenji said.

**A/N: I hate war and I'm completely against war. I hope that you all feel the same way. So far this is my most dramatic fan fiction ever. I still can't believe I actually wrote it. I hope you'd review me and tell me what you truly think, but please don't flame me; remember: we're all entitled to speak our minds and I only did that. **

_**-Shimmering Tear**_


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